The Inspired Observational Humor of Reginald J. Butkus III

What is it with knives?! Yow. They're sharp!

Does anyone actually eat fruit cake? Or are they like me...and using it for a paperweight!!!

What is it with food on the airplane? In case you were wondering what that barf-bag was for--it's for this stuff!

What is the deal with words like hippopotamus. Hippopotamus? Are you freakin' kiddin' me here?!!!

Why is it that if you eat food when you're hungry, you're no longer hungry?! I mean, does food make you not hungry, or what? Huh?!!! I mean, "faggedaboutit" over here!!!!

What is the deal with this stump I have where my left hand used to be? I mean, did I lose it in a beartrap, or what?!

What's the deal with electricity?! Is it just me, or when you stick your fingers in an electrical socket, do you always just like totally start convulsing and tasting metal?

What is the deal with heroin? Do you always want more and more of it until you black out, or whaaaa-aaaaa-aaatt?!!!!