Lt. Bush's Letters Home.
October 21, 2004
Today, in response to criticism of President Bush’s service during the Vietnam War, the Bush campaign released the following war-time letters the President wrote while on active duty. The letters are intended to “further illustrate the President’s record of unbridled enthusiasm, service, and hard work during the Vietnam War effort.”
January 2, 1970
Dear Mom and Dad,
I hope you are all fine, and living life like you always did. Tell Jeb to go easy on the girls for me.
I know you worry about me, but don’t. I’ll be safe, and anyway, if anything ever happened to me, you will know that I died protecting our great nation from the axis of evil. Communism is a plague, and it is my responsibility to help stop it.
Weekends on the base are tense because we never know when the Mexicans and Cubans might attack. The Mexicans and Cubans, who as you know are in cahoots with the Soviets and Viet Cong, hate America’s freedom (I think they’re also jealous of our baseball and good beer), and we in the 111th are committed to bringing them to justice. If that means preemptive strike, so be it. I’ll leave that up to the general, since he’s the boss. But if they try anything in the Gulf, we’re gonna get ‘em.
You know, when I first got my assignment, I was real excited—I’d never been to the Gulf of Mexico before; it’s so far from Midland, it’s like a different planet! But now I know how bad war is. Sometimes I wish I’d taken the easy way out—gone to Canada or cut off my trigger arm—but then I think of Bill, one of my buddies in the Guard. He has this boil on his leg that really hurts. I owe it to him and America to stand up to the enemies of democracy.
Love,
George
P.S. I’ll be home soon (this week).
April 9, 1970
Dear Mom and Dad,
In case you forgot, I’m protecting the country. That’s why I’ve been so scarce. It’s a hard job. It’s a really hard job. But I’m a good person and I’m working hard to get the job done.
No sign of the Mexican bombers yet. See, they’re waiting for us to turn the other way, then bam! But we won’t turn the other way, because we are committed 110% to waiting for their move. When they attack, they’re gonna pay.
That goes for the Cubans, too.
Love,
George
P.S. Thanks for the cookies. Please send more!
P.P.S. I’m coming home this week, as usual.
November 21, 1970
Dear Mom and Dad,
The Mexicans still haven’t attacked yet. Neither have the Cubans. I wish we could just go ahead and attack them to get it over with. Then we wouldn’t have to worry so much, but the hippies think that would be bad. This must be how Dad felt when he was waiting for his missions in WWII. It’s part of being in a war, I guess.
Love,
George
P.S. Please send more cookies. Also, will be home this week. From now on, you should probably just assume you’ll see me every week, unless I say otherwise.
March 15, 1971
Dear Mom and Dad,
I had the scare of my life last night. I was sound asleep in the barracks, when I heard this creaking alongside the window. Then there were some more sounds that sounded like Mexican-talk. I woke Tom and he heard it too. We were scared, but our training kicked in like clockwork. We took out our truncheons (we can’t have guns), and snuck to the window to see who was out there. Well, believe me I nearly had a heart attack when I peaked over that windowsill. Standing there was the meanest-looking raccoon I ever saw. He stared at me for what must have been 7 minutes, then walked off. Talk about a close call! What if he had been a Mexican with a bigger truncheon than me? But that’s war—a surprise at every turn
Love,
George
P.S. More cookies, please.
June 28, 1971
Dear Mom and Dad,
You know, I think the Cubans and Mexicans are too chicken to attack us. See, they’re scared of us, because the Guard is a force to be reckoned with. Otherwise, you’d probably be dead now and America would be a province of Cuba or Mexico. Or Vietnam (or Russia). See the commie murderers know that if they try anything, we’ll kill ‘em faster than they can say, “We surrender!”
Love,
George
P.S. The cookies were great. That Betty Crocker sure makes a mean oatmeal raisin cookie.
September 21, 1971
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know how vital my service is to our great country is, but I still have an itching to shoot down a Mexican plane. Just to see the look on their faces. But I hear they’ve got this amazing air force, better even than Poland’s, so let’s hope that doesn’t happen. But if it did, it’d be fun to see what my F-102 can really do!
Love,
George
October 10, 1971
Dear Mom and Dad,
I am SO excited. I finally flew a big mission. I can’t talk about it now—secrecy and everything (Dad knows about this). It wasn’t officially classified—in fact, our CO encouraged us to tell our families about it—but I just want to make sure. Maybe they got it wrong, and it really was classified. I could get promoted for something like that. Anyway, suffice to say, no Mexicans invaded America on my watch. If you catch my drift.
Love,
George
August 12, 1973
Dear Mom and Dad,
I hope you weren’t worried about me, since I was missing from the base for the past few months. Everything is fine, there was just a little misunderstanding. I was actually on this top secret mission the armed forces will probably never admit existed. Needless to say, I was not AWOL. I was doing vital and important work in service of this great nation.
I hope you are all doing fine. And God bless you.
Love,
George
P.S. Because of my secret mission, the Mexican and Cuban threat is completely under control. For now.
P.P.S. I’ve got a hankering for some cookies…
No, this has nothing to do with the topic...But doesn't he look engaged in the discussion?
Today, in response to criticism of President Bush’s service during the Vietnam War, the Bush campaign released the following war-time letters the President wrote while on active duty. The letters are intended to “further illustrate the President’s record of unbridled enthusiasm, service, and hard work during the Vietnam War effort.”
January 2, 1970
Dear Mom and Dad,
I hope you are all fine, and living life like you always did. Tell Jeb to go easy on the girls for me.
I know you worry about me, but don’t. I’ll be safe, and anyway, if anything ever happened to me, you will know that I died protecting our great nation from the axis of evil. Communism is a plague, and it is my responsibility to help stop it.
Weekends on the base are tense because we never know when the Mexicans and Cubans might attack. The Mexicans and Cubans, who as you know are in cahoots with the Soviets and Viet Cong, hate America’s freedom (I think they’re also jealous of our baseball and good beer), and we in the 111th are committed to bringing them to justice. If that means preemptive strike, so be it. I’ll leave that up to the general, since he’s the boss. But if they try anything in the Gulf, we’re gonna get ‘em.
You know, when I first got my assignment, I was real excited—I’d never been to the Gulf of Mexico before; it’s so far from Midland, it’s like a different planet! But now I know how bad war is. Sometimes I wish I’d taken the easy way out—gone to Canada or cut off my trigger arm—but then I think of Bill, one of my buddies in the Guard. He has this boil on his leg that really hurts. I owe it to him and America to stand up to the enemies of democracy.
Love,
George
P.S. I’ll be home soon (this week).
April 9, 1970
Dear Mom and Dad,
In case you forgot, I’m protecting the country. That’s why I’ve been so scarce. It’s a hard job. It’s a really hard job. But I’m a good person and I’m working hard to get the job done.
No sign of the Mexican bombers yet. See, they’re waiting for us to turn the other way, then bam! But we won’t turn the other way, because we are committed 110% to waiting for their move. When they attack, they’re gonna pay.
That goes for the Cubans, too.
Love,
George
P.S. Thanks for the cookies. Please send more!
P.P.S. I’m coming home this week, as usual.
November 21, 1970
Dear Mom and Dad,
The Mexicans still haven’t attacked yet. Neither have the Cubans. I wish we could just go ahead and attack them to get it over with. Then we wouldn’t have to worry so much, but the hippies think that would be bad. This must be how Dad felt when he was waiting for his missions in WWII. It’s part of being in a war, I guess.
Love,
George
P.S. Please send more cookies. Also, will be home this week. From now on, you should probably just assume you’ll see me every week, unless I say otherwise.
March 15, 1971
Dear Mom and Dad,
I had the scare of my life last night. I was sound asleep in the barracks, when I heard this creaking alongside the window. Then there were some more sounds that sounded like Mexican-talk. I woke Tom and he heard it too. We were scared, but our training kicked in like clockwork. We took out our truncheons (we can’t have guns), and snuck to the window to see who was out there. Well, believe me I nearly had a heart attack when I peaked over that windowsill. Standing there was the meanest-looking raccoon I ever saw. He stared at me for what must have been 7 minutes, then walked off. Talk about a close call! What if he had been a Mexican with a bigger truncheon than me? But that’s war—a surprise at every turn
Love,
George
P.S. More cookies, please.
June 28, 1971
Dear Mom and Dad,
You know, I think the Cubans and Mexicans are too chicken to attack us. See, they’re scared of us, because the Guard is a force to be reckoned with. Otherwise, you’d probably be dead now and America would be a province of Cuba or Mexico. Or Vietnam (or Russia). See the commie murderers know that if they try anything, we’ll kill ‘em faster than they can say, “We surrender!”
Love,
George
P.S. The cookies were great. That Betty Crocker sure makes a mean oatmeal raisin cookie.
September 21, 1971
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know how vital my service is to our great country is, but I still have an itching to shoot down a Mexican plane. Just to see the look on their faces. But I hear they’ve got this amazing air force, better even than Poland’s, so let’s hope that doesn’t happen. But if it did, it’d be fun to see what my F-102 can really do!
Love,
George
October 10, 1971
Dear Mom and Dad,
I am SO excited. I finally flew a big mission. I can’t talk about it now—secrecy and everything (Dad knows about this). It wasn’t officially classified—in fact, our CO encouraged us to tell our families about it—but I just want to make sure. Maybe they got it wrong, and it really was classified. I could get promoted for something like that. Anyway, suffice to say, no Mexicans invaded America on my watch. If you catch my drift.
Love,
George
August 12, 1973
Dear Mom and Dad,
I hope you weren’t worried about me, since I was missing from the base for the past few months. Everything is fine, there was just a little misunderstanding. I was actually on this top secret mission the armed forces will probably never admit existed. Needless to say, I was not AWOL. I was doing vital and important work in service of this great nation.
I hope you are all doing fine. And God bless you.
Love,
George
P.S. Because of my secret mission, the Mexican and Cuban threat is completely under control. For now.
P.P.S. I’ve got a hankering for some cookies…
No, this has nothing to do with the topic...But doesn't he look engaged in the discussion?
posted by Fonzy Mann-Johnson at 2:28 AM
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